Finally, a movie that acknowledges how Jewish mysticism can freak people out just as well as any ol’ Christian folk horror. L’chaim!

Back in the ‘90s there was this one guy, a stoic blob who had neither much in terms of discernible charm, nor was he ever willing to show off much of anything he picked up in all his years training under several alleged martial arts masters, but still gained worldwide fame in the world of kicking ass and taking names. Join us, as we take a look at the early works of Steven Seagal, and question his status as a citizen of Earth.